For years and years I've struggled with this problem. It doesn't necessarily hurt but it's uncomfortable as hell. To try to relieve the problem, I've tried stretching, hot packs, cold packs, water therapy, a chiropracter, a psychologist, posture pedic, Ben-Gay (once!), electro-stimulation, massage, and acupuncture...all with little results. Recently, I've become very self-conscious of the problem, convincing myself that people are judging me based on my neck movements. I started seeing a psychologist because I was convinced I was depressed. Even now, I am having difficultly writing about this condition. That's how much it affects me. A few months before leaving for China I started a combination of heavy physical therapy (massage and stretching) and acupuncture. For the first time in my life I was getting some sort of relief. The acupuncture worked on my deep muscles...relaxing some that had been tight for more than a decade...and the physical therapy worked on the superficial muscles. Gone were the strange neck movements and chronic tightness in my upper back. Sorry to leave my therapists for China, I was also excited to go to the birthplace of acupuncture and the other wacky medical treatments of Chinese Traditional Medicine. Maybe I could get rid of this once and for all.
I told the girls in my school about my problem and that I wanted to try acupuncture. They all thought I was crazy. Apparently, Chinese acupuncture is far more painful than the American imported Japanese acupuncture. In Japanese acupuncture, a therapist will gently insert a small needle into the skin, barely puncturing the surface. They will then leave you for 45 minutes to an hour to allow the needles to open up your energy flow (qi). However, in Chinese acupuncture, the "therapist" will quickly diagnose where he thinks your qi is blocked, heat up a giant needle, jam it into your body, move it around until your muscle jumps a little, and repeat for 10 minutes. Similar to China's long history of violence and suffering, maybe they believe that the only way to truly get better is to go through excruciating pain.
Needless to say, the acupuncture didn't really do it for me. After the initial shock and residual pain, there was some relief, but nothing compared to the Japanese variety. The "doctor" had another idea...something called "cupping" or "fire-pot." In this nifty Traditional Chinese Medicine technique, the doctor will ignite a large flame to heat up the inside of 12-15 jars, then place them, one by one, on your back. The idea, as I understand it, is to create a vacuum within the jars that will suck out your "bad gas"...the gas that causes you to become sick. This procedure is far less painful than the acupuncture, but still quite uncomfortable as the weight of the jars and the red hot heat begin to wear your body down after 15 minutes. Then the doctor will remove the jars one by one, leaving giant purple leopard spots or as I like to call them, hickies, all over your back. You see, the purple color indicates that you have "bad gas"...the darker the purple...the worse your gas. Red spots indicate a healthy person. I was purple all over.
The doctor recommended that I come back once a week as the acupuncture and the cupping work in tandem and the results increase the more you go. I've only been once so far because the pain of the acupuncture and walking around with giant purple spots on my back for 2 weeks seemed to outweigh the benefits of going back. I've had time to think it over though and decided to continue the treatment.
Who knows how long I've had purple spots? I don't think there will be a happier day in my life when I can look into the mirror and see red hickies up and down my back.
2 comments:
OK. I talked to zach earlier today and he was like "man...you gotta check out pappys latest post." So I did and a few things spring to mind. First, Pap your neck thing is not that noticible. Yea every once in a while you do the little head side to side neck stretch, its not that bad. I can understand if you're self concious about it but honestly its NOT THAT BAD. Second I think the japanese accupucture is cool. Go fot it if it makes you feel better. The Japanese have a word for chinese accupuntcure though: its called seppuku or hari kiri. DO NOT i repeat DO NOT go back to that dude and get more treatments. He's SELLING YOU. its like at my job we slang job postings AND resume database(they work great in tandem) fuck that dude he only wants your cash. Third. As far as the cupping goes (or hot pot) you should be trying to get in Anna's hot pot not haveing some quack put them all over you back. On top of that what is with Chinese people and "hot pot?!?!?" How many different types of hot pot am i gonna hear about. Next thing you are gonna tell me about a new type of fire chinese weed or something...(hot pot get it?) The point is I don't want to see any more pictues of you looking like gizmo from gremlins after you ate after midnight and i threw water on your back. Focus on anna and cherry, they are the keys to China. They are the holy grail(stay safe). Pap seriously if i see another picture of you looking like a 5000 watt light bulb im gonna get pissed off. Youre names not gizmo its pappy goddammit even though youve probably been kicking it with mad old chinese dudes like the guy that sold Giz to Billy peltzer in the original. I'll be honest. Ive had a few beers tonight, Ive wrote a little more than I anticpated writing, but for real, make cherry and anna... fuck it CECE a priority. I dont care if you make moves on larrys wife. Just dont put yourself through any more torture over the neck thing. You are there to have a good time so do it. Dont subject yourself to anymore suffering for a small little thing that no one notices anyway.
your boy,
wats aka snakrap(crispy ranch not that grilled honey mustard bullshit.)
...besides a little krippel fell never hurt anybody... its you baby let it go
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